BLOG
Published on 18 Mar 2026 by Norman C.
A recent case reported by The Independent Singapore highlights a common but costly issue. An employer spent about S$7,500 to hire a domestic helper, only for her to leave after just four months.
On paper, everything was provided. Meals, rest days, Wi Fi, and a manageable workload. Yet, she still chose to return home due to homesickness and being away from her family.
The lesson is simple. Good conditions alone are not enough. Emotional well being matters just as much.
Creating a sense of belonging makes all the difference. Treating a helper like part of the family, including them in daily life, and showing genuine care can help them feel at home.
1. Recognise that homesickness is not a “minor issue”
Many helpers leave not because of bad treatment but because of emotional strain.
- Being away from children, parents, or spouses can be overwhelming
- The emotional toll often appears after the first few months
What to do: Treat homesickness as a serious adjustment issue, not something they’ll “just get over.”
2. Check in early, not when problems escalate
In the case above, things seemed fine… until they weren’t.
By the time a helper decides to leave, the emotional burden has often built up quietly.
What to do:
- Schedule weekly or biweekly check-ins
- Ask open-ended questions like:
“How are you feeling about being here?”
"What do you miss most from home?”
Early conversations = early solutions.
3. Understand their “why” for working abroad
Many helpers migrate due to urgent financial needs but their emotional motivations (family ties) remain strong.
What to do:
- Ask about their family situation during onboarding
- Know who they miss the most (e.g., children)
- Be aware of key emotional triggers (birthdays, school events)
This context helps you respond with empathy, not confusion.
4. Don’t assume “good benefits” equal happiness
The employer in the story provided:
- Meals
- Weekly rest days
- Wi-Fi and phone access
- A manageable workload
Yet the helper still left.
Reality check: Comfort ≠ emotional well-being
What to do: Balance material support with emotional support.
5. Help them stay connected to home
Homesickness is often tied to lack of meaningful connection, not just distance.
What to do:
- Encourage regular video calls with family
- Be flexible during important family moments
- Allow personal time without guilt or pressure
Even small gestures can significantly reduce emotional strain.
6. Watch for subtle warning signs
Early signs of homesickness or disengagement may include:
- Withdrawal or quietness
- Loss of motivation
- Frequent mention of home
- Emotional mood swings
What to do: Address these signs early instead of waiting for a resignation request.
7. Use agencies strategically but don’t rely on them
Yes, some agencies offer partial refunds or replacements within the first 6 months.
But: Replacing a helper doesn’t fix the underlying issue.
What to do:
- Use agencies as backup not your main solution
- Focus on retention, not replacement
Retention is cheaper, easier, and more humane.
8. Build a human relationship not just a work arrangement
One key takeaway from the case: both employer and helper felt they were being reasonable yet the arrangement still failed.
That’s because employment alone isn’t enough in a shared household.
What to do:
- Show genuine interest in their well-being
- Create a respectful, open environment
- Avoid a purely transactional mindset
A helper who feels understood is far more likely to stay.
Hiring a domestic helper is not just a financial commitment, it’s a human relationship shaped by distance, sacrifice, and emotional resilience.
You might be interested in:
What Happens When a Helper Goes on Urgent Leave and Never Comes Back?
What to Do If Your Domestic Helper’s Performance Declines
Who Pays When a Domestic Helper Gets Hurt Overseas?
What to Do If Your Helper Leaves Abruptly With Unresolved Debts
A recent case reported by The Independent Singapore highlights a common but costly issue. An employer spent about S$7,500 to hire a domestic helper, only for her to leave after just four months.
On paper, everything was provided. Meals, rest days, Wi Fi, and a manageable workload. Yet, she still chose to return home due to homesickness and being away from her family.
The lesson is simple. Good conditions alone are not enough. Emotional well being matters just as much.
Creating a sense of belonging makes all the difference. Treating a helper like part of the family, including them in daily life, and showing genuine care can help them feel at home.
1. Recognise that homesickness is not a “minor issue”
Many helpers leave not because of bad treatment but because of emotional strain.
- Being away from children, parents, or spouses can be overwhelming
- The emotional toll often appears after the first few months
What to do: Treat homesickness as a serious adjustment issue, not something they’ll “just get over.”
2. Check in early, not when problems escalate
In the case above, things seemed fine… until they weren’t.
By the time a helper decides to leave, the emotional burden has often built up quietly.
What to do:
- Schedule weekly or biweekly check-ins
- Ask open-ended questions like:
“How are you feeling about being here?”
"What do you miss most from home?”
Early conversations = early solutions.
3. Understand their “why” for working abroad
Many helpers migrate due to urgent financial needs but their emotional motivations (family ties) remain strong.
What to do:
- Ask about their family situation during onboarding
- Know who they miss the most (e.g., children)
- Be aware of key emotional triggers (birthdays, school events)
This context helps you respond with empathy, not confusion.
4. Don’t assume “good benefits” equal happiness
The employer in the story provided:
- Meals
- Weekly rest days
- Wi-Fi and phone access
- A manageable workload
Yet the helper still left.
Reality check: Comfort ≠ emotional well-being
What to do: Balance material support with emotional support.
5. Help them stay connected to home
Homesickness is often tied to lack of meaningful connection, not just distance.
What to do:
- Encourage regular video calls with family
- Be flexible during important family moments
- Allow personal time without guilt or pressure
Even small gestures can significantly reduce emotional strain.
6. Watch for subtle warning signs
Early signs of homesickness or disengagement may include:
- Withdrawal or quietness
- Loss of motivation
- Frequent mention of home
- Emotional mood swings
What to do: Address these signs early instead of waiting for a resignation request.
7. Use agencies strategically but don’t rely on them
Yes, some agencies offer partial refunds or replacements within the first 6 months.
But: Replacing a helper doesn’t fix the underlying issue.
What to do:
- Use agencies as backup not your main solution
- Focus on retention, not replacement
Retention is cheaper, easier, and more humane.
8. Build a human relationship not just a work arrangement
One key takeaway from the case: both employer and helper felt they were being reasonable yet the arrangement still failed.
That’s because employment alone isn’t enough in a shared household.
What to do:
- Show genuine interest in their well-being
- Create a respectful, open environment
- Avoid a purely transactional mindset
A helper who feels understood is far more likely to stay.
Hiring a domestic helper is not just a financial commitment, it’s a human relationship shaped by distance, sacrifice, and emotional resilience.
You might be interested in:
What Happens When a Helper Goes on Urgent Leave and Never Comes Back?
What to Do If Your Domestic Helper’s Performance Declines
Who Pays When a Domestic Helper Gets Hurt Overseas?
What to Do If Your Helper Leaves Abruptly With Unresolved Debts