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Published on 25 Aug 2025 by Wano J.
Hiring a domestic helper can be a huge relief for busy households, but sometimes, challenges arise, especially when it comes to relationships with children. If your helper isn’t getting along with your kids, it can affect the harmony of your home. Here’s a practical guide on how to handle the situation constructively.
1. Identify the root cause
Before taking action, understand why the friction exists. Some common reasons include:
- Personality clashes – Your helper and children may have different temperaments.
- Miscommunication – Instructions or expectations may not be clear.
- Behavioral issues – Children may test boundaries, or the helper may have different parenting styles.
- Stress or fatigue – Helpers may be overwhelmed by their duties, affecting their patience.
Observing interactions calmly can help you pinpoint whether it’s a temporary issue or something deeper.
2. Open up a dialogue
Communication is key. Talk separately to your helper and your children:
- With your helper: Ask about her perspective and encourage her to share challenges she faces. Keep it non-judgmental to create a safe space.
- With your children: Listen to their feelings, and explain that everyone in the household is working together to maintain a happy home.
Understanding both sides will help you approach the issue more fairly.
3. Set clear expectations
Clear guidelines prevent misunderstandings. Discuss the following:
- House rules: Bedtime, screen time, and behavior expectations.
- Discipline boundaries: How to handle minor misbehavior.
- Communication: Encourage your helper to report problems calmly rather than reacting impulsively.
Documenting these expectations in a simple chart or schedule can help your helper and children know exactly what’s expected.
4. Encourage positive interaction
Building rapport takes effort. Try:
- Shared activities: Assign small, enjoyable tasks for them to do together, like cooking simple meals, reading, or crafts.
- Praise teamwork: Recognise and reward cooperative behavior to reinforce positive interactions.
- Small bonding moments: Encourage casual chats or storytelling sessions to create trust.
5. Offer training and support
Sometimes, your helper may need guidance on managing children, especially if she is new to childcare. Ministry of Helpers offers online courses and training resources to help FDWs develop skills in child care and household management.
6. Monitor progress and be patient
Changing dynamics takes time. Keep an eye on interactions and check in regularly. Celebrate small improvements and address recurring issues calmly. Patience and consistency often produce the best results.
7. When to seek professional help
If conflicts escalate or affect the child’s well-being, don’t hesitate to seek professional help:
- Family counselors or child psychologists can mediate conflicts.
- Ministry of Helpers’ support team can provide advice on managing household dynamics.
A positive relationship between your helper and your children is achievable with patience, communication, and clear expectations. By taking proactive steps, you create a harmonious home where everyone feels respected and supported.
Ministry of Helpers is here to support families and helpers alike, ensuring smooth household management and better relationships at home.
You might be interested in:
Top 5 Qualities Indian Helpers Bring to Your Home
How to Give Constructive Feedback Without Discouraging Your Helper
Signs Your Helper Might Be Unhappy And What to Do About It
Maid Levy for Elderly in Singapore: What Employers Need to Know
Hiring a domestic helper can be a huge relief for busy households, but sometimes, challenges arise, especially when it comes to relationships with children. If your helper isn’t getting along with your kids, it can affect the harmony of your home. Here’s a practical guide on how to handle the situation constructively.
1. Identify the root cause
Before taking action, understand why the friction exists. Some common reasons include:
- Personality clashes – Your helper and children may have different temperaments.
- Miscommunication – Instructions or expectations may not be clear.
- Behavioral issues – Children may test boundaries, or the helper may have different parenting styles.
- Stress or fatigue – Helpers may be overwhelmed by their duties, affecting their patience.
Observing interactions calmly can help you pinpoint whether it’s a temporary issue or something deeper.
2. Open up a dialogue
Communication is key. Talk separately to your helper and your children:
- With your helper: Ask about her perspective and encourage her to share challenges she faces. Keep it non-judgmental to create a safe space.
- With your children: Listen to their feelings, and explain that everyone in the household is working together to maintain a happy home.
Understanding both sides will help you approach the issue more fairly.
3. Set clear expectations
Clear guidelines prevent misunderstandings. Discuss the following:
- House rules: Bedtime, screen time, and behavior expectations.
- Discipline boundaries: How to handle minor misbehavior.
- Communication: Encourage your helper to report problems calmly rather than reacting impulsively.
Documenting these expectations in a simple chart or schedule can help your helper and children know exactly what’s expected.
4. Encourage positive interaction
Building rapport takes effort. Try:
- Shared activities: Assign small, enjoyable tasks for them to do together, like cooking simple meals, reading, or crafts.
- Praise teamwork: Recognise and reward cooperative behavior to reinforce positive interactions.
- Small bonding moments: Encourage casual chats or storytelling sessions to create trust.
5. Offer training and support
Sometimes, your helper may need guidance on managing children, especially if she is new to childcare. Ministry of Helpers offers online courses and training resources to help FDWs develop skills in child care and household management.
6. Monitor progress and be patient
Changing dynamics takes time. Keep an eye on interactions and check in regularly. Celebrate small improvements and address recurring issues calmly. Patience and consistency often produce the best results.
7. When to seek professional help
If conflicts escalate or affect the child’s well-being, don’t hesitate to seek professional help:
- Family counselors or child psychologists can mediate conflicts.
- Ministry of Helpers’ support team can provide advice on managing household dynamics.
A positive relationship between your helper and your children is achievable with patience, communication, and clear expectations. By taking proactive steps, you create a harmonious home where everyone feels respected and supported.
Ministry of Helpers is here to support families and helpers alike, ensuring smooth household management and better relationships at home.
You might be interested in:
Top 5 Qualities Indian Helpers Bring to Your Home
How to Give Constructive Feedback Without Discouraging Your Helper
Signs Your Helper Might Be Unhappy And What to Do About It
Maid Levy for Elderly in Singapore: What Employers Need to Know