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Published on 13 Feb 2025 by Anna O.
At Ministry of Helpers, we are dedicated to creating a positive and transparent hiring experience for both domestic helpers and employers. However, even with the best efforts in matching the right helper with the right employer, unexpected situations can arise. One recent case brought to light the challenges and lessons that both employers and helpers can learn from.
What happened?
A working couple caring for two hospitalised elders selected a domestic helper through our platform. The helper had solid experience, good references, and appeared eager to begin her role. For the first few days, everything seemed fine—until one day, she left the house and never returned.
The employer, concerned for both the helper’s well-being and their household, sought police assistance and informed Ministry of Helpers. It was later discovered that the helper had been feeling overwhelmed and was struggling with health issues. Despite the family’s patience and understanding, things started to spiral out of control.
The turn of events
The situation took a dramatic turn one Monday morning when the helper woke up at 7 a.m. insisting that she had to leave that same day. Although she spoke fluent English, she refused to communicate in anything other than Bahasa or Malay, demanding to speak with an Indonesian. An officer from the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) explained her obligation to serve a one-month notice, yet she remained adamant about leaving immediately.
After hours of emotional distress and discussions, the helper changed her mind around 2 p.m. and decided to stay. She even wrote a letter confirming her commitment to complete her two-year contract. Exhausted from the experience, she requested the rest of the day off to sleep and recover, which the employer allowed.
However, just a few days later, she asked for additional days off and an advance on her salary, stating that her husband might visit Singapore soon. The employer, although frustrated, said they would discuss it with the family.
Signs of increasing disregard
Over the following days, the employer noticed increasingly inconsiderate behaviour from the helper. Despite being treated kindly, she began helping herself to food in the house, often eating before the family. When asked to cut fruit for the employer’s father, she would take a portion for herself without asking. She never disclosed her health condition, which made prolonged standing difficult. At 105 kg, she frequently had to sit while cooking. Still, the family remained patient and supportive, ensuring she felt comfortable.
Ultimately, the helper disappeared without warning. The employer filed a police report, unsure whether she had remained in Singapore or taken a ferry to Batam.
Our response
When situations like this occur, it’s essential to act swiftly. While we are not an agency and do not provide direct advice on such matters, we prioritise maintaining the integrity of our platform. Following this incident, we blocked the helper from our platform to prevent similar occurrences in the future.
This experience offers valuable lessons for both employers and helpers:
For Employers:
- Set clear expectations from the start and maintain open communication.
- Regularly check in with your helper to ensure she is comfortable and coping well.
- Be supportive but firm in managing boundaries and expectations.
For Helpers:
- If you feel overwhelmed, communicate openly with your employer or seek advice from support groups.
- Running away is not the solution—it can put you at legal risk, blacklist you from getting employment in Singapore, and complicate future opportunities.
- Seek help if you are struggling emotionally or physically.
We understand that working in a foreign country can be challenging for helpers, just as managing household help can be stressful for employers. The key to a successful employer-helper relationship is open communication, mutual respect, and ongoing support.
At Ministry of Helpers, we know the challenges of household management and the importance of clear expectations. This is why we developed the Household Scheduler—a tool that helps employers, helpers, and household members coordinate tasks and schedules effectively, ensuring everyone stays on the same page and expectations are met. Download the Ministry of Helpers app and start using the Household Scheduler today—free for all Ministry of Helpers subscribers!
Better connections make better homes.
At Ministry of Helpers, we are dedicated to creating a positive and transparent hiring experience for both domestic helpers and employers. However, even with the best efforts in matching the right helper with the right employer, unexpected situations can arise. One recent case brought to light the challenges and lessons that both employers and helpers can learn from.
What happened?
A working couple caring for two hospitalised elders selected a domestic helper through our platform. The helper had solid experience, good references, and appeared eager to begin her role. For the first few days, everything seemed fine—until one day, she left the house and never returned.
The employer, concerned for both the helper’s well-being and their household, sought police assistance and informed Ministry of Helpers. It was later discovered that the helper had been feeling overwhelmed and was struggling with health issues. Despite the family’s patience and understanding, things started to spiral out of control.
The turn of events
The situation took a dramatic turn one Monday morning when the helper woke up at 7 a.m. insisting that she had to leave that same day. Although she spoke fluent English, she refused to communicate in anything other than Bahasa or Malay, demanding to speak with an Indonesian. An officer from the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) explained her obligation to serve a one-month notice, yet she remained adamant about leaving immediately.
After hours of emotional distress and discussions, the helper changed her mind around 2 p.m. and decided to stay. She even wrote a letter confirming her commitment to complete her two-year contract. Exhausted from the experience, she requested the rest of the day off to sleep and recover, which the employer allowed.
However, just a few days later, she asked for additional days off and an advance on her salary, stating that her husband might visit Singapore soon. The employer, although frustrated, said they would discuss it with the family.
Signs of increasing disregard
Over the following days, the employer noticed increasingly inconsiderate behaviour from the helper. Despite being treated kindly, she began helping herself to food in the house, often eating before the family. When asked to cut fruit for the employer’s father, she would take a portion for herself without asking. She never disclosed her health condition, which made prolonged standing difficult. At 105 kg, she frequently had to sit while cooking. Still, the family remained patient and supportive, ensuring she felt comfortable.
Ultimately, the helper disappeared without warning. The employer filed a police report, unsure whether she had remained in Singapore or taken a ferry to Batam.
Our response
When situations like this occur, it’s essential to act swiftly. While we are not an agency and do not provide direct advice on such matters, we prioritise maintaining the integrity of our platform. Following this incident, we blocked the helper from our platform to prevent similar occurrences in the future.
This experience offers valuable lessons for both employers and helpers:
For Employers:
- Set clear expectations from the start and maintain open communication.
- Regularly check in with your helper to ensure she is comfortable and coping well.
- Be supportive but firm in managing boundaries and expectations.
For Helpers:
- If you feel overwhelmed, communicate openly with your employer or seek advice from support groups.
- Running away is not the solution—it can put you at legal risk, blacklist you from getting employment in Singapore, and complicate future opportunities.
- Seek help if you are struggling emotionally or physically.
We understand that working in a foreign country can be challenging for helpers, just as managing household help can be stressful for employers. The key to a successful employer-helper relationship is open communication, mutual respect, and ongoing support.
At Ministry of Helpers, we know the challenges of household management and the importance of clear expectations. This is why we developed the Household Scheduler—a tool that helps employers, helpers, and household members coordinate tasks and schedules effectively, ensuring everyone stays on the same page and expectations are met. Download the Ministry of Helpers app and start using the Household Scheduler today—free for all Ministry of Helpers subscribers!
Better connections make better homes.