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Published on 12 Dec 2025 by Kin E.
Having a domestic helper can make daily life easier, especially for families with young children. However, there may be occasions when your helper’s behaviour towards your children doesn’t align with your expectations. Handling these situations respectfully and effectively is key to maintaining a harmonious home.
This guide provides practical tips for employers on setting clear boundaries, communicating expectations, and fostering a positive working relationship with your helper.
1. Set clear expectations from the start
A well-defined job scope and household rules help prevent misunderstandings. Make sure your helper understands:
- Discipline guidelines (how you expect children to be guided or corrected)
- Bedtime, screen time, and activity limits
- Your preferred communication style with children
Documenting these expectations in a household manual can be extremely helpful for new helpers.
2. Communicate respectfully and constructively
If your helper’s behaviour isn’t aligned with your expectations:
- Address the issue privately, without criticism in front of children.
- Focus on specific behaviours, not the person. For example: “Please encourage sharing rather than scolding” instead of “You’re being too harsh.”
- Use positive reinforcement when they follow the guidance correctly.
3. Understand cultural differences
Helpers may come from different cultural backgrounds, where child-rearing practices vary. Take the time to explain your family’s approach and why certain behaviours matter. This fosters understanding and reduces friction.
4. Provide training or resources
Offering access to online courses or workshops on child care can help your helper understand modern parenting approaches. Ministry of Helpers partners with platforms like StepUp to provide helpful training materials for domestic helpers.
5. Document and monitor
Keep notes of incidents and the steps taken to address them. This can help if issues persist or escalate, providing clarity and accountability.
6. Know when to re‑evaluate the arrangement
If repeated discussions and guidance don’t resolve the issue, it may be time to consider a reassignment or replacement. A positive and safe environment for your children is always the priority.
Effective communication, respect, and clear boundaries are essential for a harmonious employer-helper relationship. By taking a proactive, educational approach, you can guide your helper’s behaviour, ensure your children’s wellbeing, and maintain a positive home environment.
How do you approach situations when your helper’s behaviour around your children doesn’t align with your expectations?
You might be interested in:
Measles Rules for Hiring Domestic Helpers
Is It Safe to Hire a Maid Without an Agency in Singapore?
Home Leave & Off Days: What Every Employer Should Know This Festive Season
Why Employers Should Always Use Licensed Maid Agencies and Verified Hiring Platforms
Why Enhanced Medical Insurance Is a Game-Changer for Employers of Domestic Helpers
Having a domestic helper can make daily life easier, especially for families with young children. However, there may be occasions when your helper’s behaviour towards your children doesn’t align with your expectations. Handling these situations respectfully and effectively is key to maintaining a harmonious home.
This guide provides practical tips for employers on setting clear boundaries, communicating expectations, and fostering a positive working relationship with your helper.
1. Set clear expectations from the start
A well-defined job scope and household rules help prevent misunderstandings. Make sure your helper understands:
- Discipline guidelines (how you expect children to be guided or corrected)
- Bedtime, screen time, and activity limits
- Your preferred communication style with children
Documenting these expectations in a household manual can be extremely helpful for new helpers.
2. Communicate respectfully and constructively
If your helper’s behaviour isn’t aligned with your expectations:
- Address the issue privately, without criticism in front of children.
- Focus on specific behaviours, not the person. For example: “Please encourage sharing rather than scolding” instead of “You’re being too harsh.”
- Use positive reinforcement when they follow the guidance correctly.
3. Understand cultural differences
Helpers may come from different cultural backgrounds, where child-rearing practices vary. Take the time to explain your family’s approach and why certain behaviours matter. This fosters understanding and reduces friction.
4. Provide training or resources
Offering access to online courses or workshops on child care can help your helper understand modern parenting approaches. Ministry of Helpers partners with platforms like StepUp to provide helpful training materials for domestic helpers.
5. Document and monitor
Keep notes of incidents and the steps taken to address them. This can help if issues persist or escalate, providing clarity and accountability.
6. Know when to re‑evaluate the arrangement
If repeated discussions and guidance don’t resolve the issue, it may be time to consider a reassignment or replacement. A positive and safe environment for your children is always the priority.
Effective communication, respect, and clear boundaries are essential for a harmonious employer-helper relationship. By taking a proactive, educational approach, you can guide your helper’s behaviour, ensure your children’s wellbeing, and maintain a positive home environment.
How do you approach situations when your helper’s behaviour around your children doesn’t align with your expectations?
You might be interested in:
Measles Rules for Hiring Domestic Helpers
Is It Safe to Hire a Maid Without an Agency in Singapore?
Home Leave & Off Days: What Every Employer Should Know This Festive Season
Why Employers Should Always Use Licensed Maid Agencies and Verified Hiring Platforms
Why Enhanced Medical Insurance Is a Game-Changer for Employers of Domestic Helpers